Lost

Honest confession:  I got lost on the way to writing.  I’ve always been a writer. I’ve always processed the world through spilling ink on a page.  It’s not a big deal, it’s just part of who I am. In recent years, I’ve thought (hoped? prayed?) that God might want to  use my words to encourage others. So I started this blog.

I joined a writers group. I took a few courses. I started learning about the craft of writing, the process of publishing, and strategies for branding and growing a platform.  That’s when things got weird. 

Suddenly, my words were not enough.  I needed images and graphics. I needed to schedule social media posts and track reader engagement. I was being taught to strategize and monetize.  Something in my soul started to shift.

The voices were loud.  They were there to encourage me.  To help me. To give me direction and support.  But they overwhelmed me. They muddied the waters. I started to feel like this is all about me. But it isn’t.

First and foremost, my blog is about God.  It’s about who He is, and what He is doing, and the glory due His name.  

Second, it’s about you.  The reason I press “publish”, is because I want you to be encouraged, to know you’re loved, to realize that you aren’t alone in your struggle.  I want to point your heart to the One who can breathe life into it.

I can’t do that if I’m wrapped up in my own world of branding and strategizing and trying to keep pace with the ever-changing world of Social Media.

That isn’t me.  I’m not a big deal.  But how quickly, how insidiously, desires crept into my heart.  

I was talking to a friend about growing “my reach”.  “Getting big is a terrible goal,” she said. “Making an impact is a good goal!”  I’m so thankful for my friend. She woke me up.

Photo by Marc Pell on Unsplash

So I’m pulling back. I’m simplifying things. I’m going to write words for you and let you do with them as you choose, without striving to grow my platform. Or expand my reach. Without fear of staying small.  If you find encouragement here, I hope you’ll share my words with others. But it’s ok if you don’t. The pressure’s off. 

Have you ever experienced this?  Is there something in your life that started out well, but turned on you? That you intended to do for others, but somehow ended up doing for yourself?  It’s our nature, I suppose, to always turn toward the mirror. It’s a constant effort to keep looking away, looking to others, and surrendering our desire for glory.  

Thanks for showing up. For reading.  For letting me give you a peek onto my path, even though it’s a bit tangled.  I appreciate your willingness to walk beside me!